You Are Not a Bad Mom For Being Overstimulated As A Mom.
Life as a mom is a lot, isn’t it?
Parenting is no easy feat—and that’s before you factor in things like healing generational trauma, having little to no support, or juggling the world’s incessant (and frankly impossible) expectations.
Add in the nonstop sensory input and the overstimulating reality of caring for young children who never stop talking or touching you, and it’s a recipe for triggers, rage, and feeling like a failure.
You’re not a failure. You’re trying to raise children well in less than ideal circumstances.
Doing that is really, really hard. Our brains can only handle so much.
What is overstimulation and why do parents feel overstimulated so much?!
Overstimulation is also known as sensory overload. Basically, it’s when your brain is receiving more input from your five senses than it can handle. Sounds, sights, movement, smells, physical touch all become too much and your nervous system reacts by making you feel *not good*.
This experience is often more intense for people with:
- ADHD
- Autism
- Anxiety
- PTSD
- Depression
- Or those who identify as Highly Sensitive People (HSPs)
But you don’t need a diagnosis to be overwhelmed.
All humans have a sensory threshold—and parenting pushes that threshold immensely. Parenthood is often the first time in our lives we experience this kind of constant sensory input, without breaks, and without being taught how to cope.
As a mom who was diagnosed with ADHD in my mid 30’s, I know it can be disorienting to learn about the ways we function differently later in life. Neurodivergence is a lot to navigate. But all people need to learn how to regulate their emotions, especially those of us raising small humans.
What can moms and other caregivers do to help their overstimulation?
Lots, actually. More than you would think. Though, kids will always be noisy. Let’s be honest.
I sure didn’t have the language or skills to deal with overstimulation when I was in the thick of it. That’s why I wrote this post, 10 Steps For Coping with Overstimulation as a Mom. In there, you will find more information on overstimulation, along with some of my advice for dealing with the onslaught of noise and touch.
But if you want to dig deeper, hear stories from other moms and professionals who have dealt with overstimulation and know what they are talking about, read on. I created this list of books to read for parents who are overstimulated because I know that sometimes, you need more than tips and tricks.
“Why am I such a highly sensitive parent?”
“What is emotional regulation and how do I learn it?”
“How can I stop myself from losing it on my kids when I am overstimulated”
“How do I deal with the rage I feel as a mom?”
“Am I screwing up my kids?”
It’s a fear most of us have. But if you are willing to learn, you ask for help and you already care about how your actions affect your lovely little darlings— you are a way further ahead than you realize.
Listen, you are doing the best with what you have and that counts.
Without further adieu, here are my top 5 book recommendations for people dealing with overstimulation who are raising children.
5 Books For Overstimulated Parents
1. Tiny Humans, Big Emotions: How to Navigate Tantrums, Meltdowns, and Defiance to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Children – Alyssa Blask Campbell & Lauren Stauble
For the Moms Parenting Littles
Alyssa & Lauren do such a wonderful job of showing you how to help your kids manage big feelings while managing your own in the process. The book blends neuroscience with real-life parenting moments, helping you to understand tantrums, meltdowns, and defiance through a lens of empathy and regulation—for both your child and your overstimulated nervous system.
2. The Highly Sensitive Parent: How to care for your kids when you care too much – Elaine N. Aron
For the Parents Who Are Highly Sensitive (or who thinking they might be)
If you’ve ever wondered why noise, chaos, or constant touching makes you feel like you might implode, this one’s for you. Aron helps sensitive parents understand our unique wiring from a place of compassion and gives practical strategies to parent our kids with calm and confidence instead of guilt and shame. She gives us tools to deal with sensory overload and will help you feel empowered to use them.
3. Raising Good Humans: A Mindful Guide to Breaking the Cycle of Reactive Parenting and Raising Kind, Confident Kids– Hunter Clarke-Fields
The Book For Reactive Parents, Cycle Breakers and Caregivers
It’s so easy to be reactive, especially when the overstimulation melts your brain or the wiring from your own childhood causes you to do and say things you never imagined you would. A large part of raising good humans is by modelling healthy emotional regulation and resilience. This book is mindful and compassionate. It shows us how to pause before yelling, break old patterns, and raise kind, emotionally aware kids.
4. Love Your Kids Without Losing Yourself: 5 Steps for Busy Moms to Banish Guilt and Finally Beat Burnout- Dr. Morgan Cutlip
The Book Every Burned Out Mom Needs
Whether you are overstimulated or not— but especially if you deal with sensory overload. This book doesn’t just tell moms to “just practice self-care.” Yes, Cutlip encourages you to care for yourself, but moreso— she gets real about burnout, guilt, and the invisible load of motherhood. With humor and heart, she walks you through how to set boundaries, protect your time, and reconnect with the person you were before the chaos.
5. Tidy Up Your Life: Rethinking How to Organize, Declutter, and Make Space for What Matters Most– Tyler Moore
The book for overstimulated dads and any human with too much stuff (or too much to think about).
Tidy Up Your life is not your typical “declutter your closet” book. In it, Moore teaches us about clearing mental and emotional clutter, too. He invites us to simplify our physical spaces and our schedules so we can actually breathe again. It’s practical, compassionate, and perfect for the parent who is over being overwhelmed, craves less mess and wants more peace. AKA— all of us?
The Truth about Overstimulation and Parenting
Reading these books for overstimulated and overwhelmed parents will not magically make raising humans easier. Reading books isn’t about turning yourself into a perfect parent. That, my friend, is impossible. Not ever being overstimulated and ragey again, is also fairly unlikely.
Doing this work is about giving yourself the language, the tools, the capacity and the perspective to survive — and even enjoy — the messy, loud, beautiful chaos of raising humans.
These books should help you notice when your nervous system is hitting its limits and give you tools to respond instead of react.
Being overstimulated doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human and that your nervous system is doing its job. It is protecting you by telling you when things are too much. Every small step you take toward understanding your triggers, your sensitivity, and your own emotional patterns matters.
So take a breath. Put down the phone. Maybe pick up one of these books. Too much? Just read my tips for overstimulated moms.
The goal isn’t perfection. It’s presence, patience, and the knowledge that you’re giving your kids a parent who loves them no matter what and is trying no matter how often they fall down. And we will fall down, because we are human.
You are doing great. Keep going.
Libby
Want more?
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